Before you go any further, if you are seeking help as a victim of domestic violence, you may wish to ensure others don't know what you are doing. Please follow the instructions here.
Kia ora and welcome to Shine - we are a national domestic violence charity here to help keep people safe from abuse.
Domestic violence is very common in Aotearoa New Zealand, with 1 in 3 women reporting being abused by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Overwhelmingly, the vast majority of the victims of domestic violence are women and children but it can also affect men.
It is not limited by ethnicity, culture, disability, sexuality, age or whether someone is rich or poor. Domestic violence affects children, women, men, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, aunties, uncles, nephews, nieces, grandparents, grandchildren, friends, workmates, it affects us all.
Are you feeling worried about your relationship?
Do you have someone safe to talk to?
Call FREE our confidential helpline 0508 744 633 using your mobile or landline from anywhere in Aotearoa New Zealand between 7.30am and 11.00pm every day.
Remember: our priority is your safety.
If you, a child or other family member is in immediate danger call 111 now.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
We know sometimes the hardest part is taking the first step to reach out for help so please call. You will find someone ready to listen who can also offer friendly and useful advice.
What is domestic violence?
There are many names for abuse, domestic violence, family violence, battering, wife bashing or intimate partner violence but what we call it is less important than understanding what it means.
In shine’s view domestic violence is physical, sexual, emotional and psychological, financial and spiritual abuse that takes place within an intimate or family-type relationship and that forms a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour.
Domestic violence happens in many ways:
Emotional: constantly putting you down, calling you names, saying you are crazy,
Threats: breaking your things, threatening to hurt you and the children
Isolation: keeping you away from family, friends and support
Economic: controlling the money
Physical: slaps, pushing, punches, kicks, strangling, using weapons
Sexual: making you do sexual things you don’t want to
When there is domestic violence it always affects any children or young people in the family.
Please see the power and control wheel for more examples of domestic violence.
