If you are worried about your harmful behaviour to a loved one, family member or others close to you, Shine would like to do what we can to support you to stop using abusive behaviour. Changing old habits and behaviours is hard, but it is usually easier if you are getting support from family and friends, or from Shine or other community organisations.
People can change – but if you want to change, you will need to be determined and, as much as possible, surround yourself with people who will support that change, and challenge you when they see old, unhelpful behaviours.
Attending a non-violence programme has helped a lot of people to change their behaviour. Shine’s No Excuses non-violence programme in Auckland runs groups for men and an individual programme for some men, women and non-binary adults. Our men’s group programme and most other similar programmes throughout NZ, provide a welcoming and engaging environment where men can talk openly with other men and facilitators about their use of abusive behaviours. In our experience, people need to accept responsibility for their abusive behaviour, and talk openly about it, in order to change it.
You can ring our Helpline 0508-744-633 to find a programme near you or even if you just want to talk to someone and talk through your options. Another helpline option is 0800 Hey Bro, run 24/7 by He Waka Tapu.
Or you may want to look at the National Network of Stopping Violence Services website to find a programme near you; many non-violence programmes throughout the country are listed on this website.
You can find a full list of Ministry of Justice approved non-violence programme providers here – look for the Register of safety and non-violence programme providers.