What is Happening at Shine

If a partner or ex-partner is controlling and abusing someone, it may be impossible for them to find safety and freedom without support and advocacy from others.

You can help a victim get safe and stay safe. Your donation can give them the advice and options they need to find safety.

Shine advocates help with practical support and work with other agencies to coordinate services and advocate on a victim's behalf. The pandemic has created terrible conditions for domestic violence. Our Advocate Team Leader says it's the "most horrific violence" she's seen in two decades. We need your support to help as many high-risk victims as possible. 

>> Please give today << 

During the latest lockdown in Auckland,  Shine saw unprecedented demand for its services and a rise in the most severe violence. Shine staff talk about what they're dealing with on the frontline:

Watch: Domestic violence increase during Auckland’s Alert Level 3 sees unprecedented demand for refuges, 1News, August 2020

Read: Domestic violence increases rapidly in New Zealand - strangulation, beatings 'commonplace' in 2020, NZ Herald, September 2020

Recent research by The Backbone Collective has highlighted the lack of long term support for survivors of domestic violence. Shine’s Holly Carrington talked to STUFF and RNZ about why it’s so hard for victims to leave.

Read: I was a shell of a human': Why family violence victims don't just leave, stuff.co.nz, August 2020

Listen: Study on how difficult it is for domestic violence victims to leave, RNZ’s The Panel, August 2020

As part of Techweek NZ  2020, panellists including Shine's own Kara-dee Morden discussed the role of technology in domestic abuse and how technology organisations can design and develop safer digital environments.

View the panel discussion on Play Stuff: Empower through design: how technology and design can combat domestic violence (30 mins)

Shine’s Holly Carrington also spoke to the Herald about technology-facilitated abuse: The dark side of smart technology: Enabling domestic abuse, NZ Herald, 29 July 2020

In the above media, IBM’s Lesley Nuttall outlines specific principles to employ in designing technology to make it resistant to being used as a tool for abuse. If you or someone you know is experiencing technology-facilitated abuse and you are seeking support, please read on:

If you’re a victim of this type of abuse it’s important to know:

• It is not your fault. No one deserves to have their life restricted and choices taken away from them to keep someone else from abusing them.
• You don’t have to go through this alone. Trust your instincts and seek help. For more information see safe use of technology and/or phone 0508 744 633 for advice.

If you’re seeking for ways to support someone else, remember:

• Understand that people experiencing abuse will be doing things to keep themselves safe. Respect their experience.
• Listen, don’t give advice before hearing their experience; don’t blame the victim.
• Keep checking in; the situation will not change overnight.
• Seek advice from Netsafe and Shine. See safe use of technology.
• If the issues are at work, consider looking into how to make your workplace a safer environment. Visit the DVFREE website for more information.

Technology can also be used as a tool to keep you safe and sane:

• Connect with safe people for support
• Look up information and develop safety plans
• Collect evidence of abuse.

If you're unsure of what to do or who to turn to, please call Shine's helpline 0508 744 633 (open daily, 9am-11pm).

During lockdown did you:

• go for regular walks or runs? Do you want to keep your motivation going now we've returned to normal(ish) life and it's so much colder?, or
• put on a few lockdown kilos due to spending all that time at home, or eating all the baking your family did? Looking for motivation to work off the extra kilos?

We can help you with that.

Join Team Shine for this year’s Auckland Marathon on Sunday 1st November and raise funds to support victims of domestic violence. Run or walk 12km, 21km or 42km.

Set up an online fundraising page. Be part of the solution and help victims of domestic violence get safe and stay safe.

Shine's Community Fundraiser Carol Herbert signed up to Team Shine for the 2019 Auckland Marathon, to walk the half-marathon distance of 21km.

"Joining Team Shine was definitely a motivator as I wanted to use the opportunity to make a difference in my community. It motivated me to fundraise and also to train so I didn’t let down family and friends who donated to my Shine cause. It was amazing walking over the Auckland Harbour Bridge and crossing that finish line was a huge achievement. I would encourage you to give it a go this year."

Please contact Carol if you have any questions or would love to sign up. Email carolh@2shine.org.nz

Thank you for stepping up to support victims of domestic violence, especially over the past few months. We were and are, incredibly fortunate to receive amazing support from our community – from individuals and organisations wanting to ensure everyone was able to get safe and stay safe during these difficult times.

We would like to express our heartfelt thanks to the following organisations and individuals:

• Ministry of Social Development for funding to cover emergency accommodation, food, clothing and Prezzy cards for victims to access the essentials - medication, formula and children’s needs.
• Corrections New Zealand staff who used their vans to courier emergency food and clothing parcels to those who needed them
• NZ Police who were so helpful in critical responses and getting victims into emergency accommodation on our behalf
• Shine’s charity partner and leading insurance provider Suncorp which donated $100,000 for the COVID19 response
• Driving Miss Daisy drivers who delivered emergency food, clothing, and phones, and transported clients to safety
• Uber which provided 500 vouchers of two rides each to transport victims to Shine and other family violence services
• Spark which donated 20 urgently-needed phones with data, to victims
• Betty Cares Foundation which provided essential clothing packs
• Kiwi Harvest which supplied fresh food every week to support clients in refuge and in emergency accommodation
• I Got Your Back Pack provided packs for women (toiletries and essentials) and backpacks for children
• Sikh Aware bought and delivered groceries for clients including those in the Shine men’s programme
• Several motels that provided emergency accommodation and went the extra mile to help victims feel safe and comforted
• Natalie Quirk – an amazing lawyer who went above and beyond to get Protection Orders processed quickly.

Individual supporters who donated and raised funds, including:

• Virginia who celebrated her 80th birthday by asking family and friends to donate to Shine
• @Leanne_Prichard and @Ellefit_nz which led an 80s aerobics class on Instagram Live, raising over $1k
• Rebekah Codlin Art donated 10% of sales of her art to Shine during Level 4
• Artist @hanna.shim created facemasks to sell with proceeds going to Shine
• Reuben & Magnus shaved their heads as a fundraiser in the first week of isolation
• Philip Kelly Turntable paintings exhibition on Visions.Art donated 10% of proceeds
• Everyone who did the Instagram 5k, $10, 5 nominations challenge
• Every one of the Team of 5 million who by eliminating COVID19, made it possible for our country to open-up and ensure victims could get help and get safe

And a huge thank you to everyone who continues to give and everyone who responded to our call for groceries in the past few weeks. Annee who manages our donations said:

“We have had an unbelievable response. People have come in carrying what they can – from one or two grocery bags to lots of them. They’ve put great thought into what is needed, too. We have had Prezzy cards brought in as well, with beautiful messages written on the back. It has been a real eye opener how people rally around and give when needed.”

Thank you for your kindness and your generosity.

“It wasn’t ideal but we made it work.”

Shine Advocate, Irka , sums up in a few words how our team helped domestic violence victims and their children during the lockdown.

“Everyone knew lockdown was going to be especially difficult for victims of domestic violence who would have little or no respite from their abuser, or opportunities to get help. We knew from overseas experience that there would be an escalation of family violence – and that it would be more severe and brutal than usual. And that is exactly what happened in New Zealand where Shine saw not only a rise in the number of referrals from hospitals, but also in increase in victims of sexual assault.”

As an essential service, Shine’s frontline staff of advocates continued their vital work, but lockdown itself presented unexpected challenges for all of our services.

Unable to meet victims face to face, our advocates had to rely on supporting adult victims by phone. Imagine the difficulty of having those conversations when the offender might be in the house or about to arrive home. We had to take great care not to endanger our clients still further.

Telephone conversations weren’t an option for our work with children, as they need face-to-face interaction and support. So our staff spent more time talking (by phone) to the protective parent to help him or her develop the tools needed for their children to understand what was happening to them, to help them cope and to work towards their healing.

In the first week of lockdown, we realised that even simple activities were no longer simple. Because of the restrictions, our access to basic essentials like clothing, toiletries, food, phones, and money for special baby formula and medications was hindered. Sometimes women who were placed in the safety of a motel had to wait, before we could get the essentials – clothes and food – delivered to her. Disturbingly, some clients who had fled with small children were unable to get groceries for themselves because lockdown restrictions did not permit them to take their children into supermarkets - but of course, they couldn’t leave them alone either.

Fortunately for victims, a number of wonderful individuals and organisations stepped up and were ready to help with donations of new goods, deliveries and transport.

Thanks to your incredible support, we are proud to have been able to provide the best care possible to victims of domestic violence throughout the lockdown.

Read more about the amazing individuals and organisations that stepped up to support victims and Shine.

While lockdown presented many challenges and our frontline staff are now relieved to be able to meet with clients face-to-face, we have also discovered new and better ways of doing things. Our experience has shown us the gift of a Prezzy cards helps to ensure our clients do not go without essential items.

Nevertheless, the impact of COVID19 on family violence will be felt for years to come. At Shine, we are expecting to see a continuing escalation of violence in the coming months and beyond. As disheartening as this is, we will not let it discourage from us from our mission of ending family violence in Aotearoa. Instead, we will redouble our efforts and work even harder.

We are so grateful for your continued support and commitment on our journey towards making every home violence free.

While reported crime overall was down during the Covid-19 lockdown, Shine and other agencies supporting family violence victims saw an escalation in high risk incidents. Shine policy advisor Holly Carrington told Stuff the lockdown had exacerbated feelings of entrapment.

Coronavirus: Death of Auckland baby sheds light on unreported violence during Covid-19 lockdown, Stuff, May 2020

Holly Carrington also spoke with Stuff about Shine's It isn't Always Obvious campaign and how friends and family can spot the subtle signs of abuse in a loved one's relationship.

Domestic violence: How to spot the signs of an abusive relationship, Stuff, June 2020 

Let's end domestic violence, together

Shine's new campaign encourages people to look out for friends, colleagues and family members who may be in a relationship with an intimate partner who controls their movements, finances or ability to go to work. The signs of abuse can be subtle - watch the videos for examples based on real-life situations. If  you believe someone else is or might be in an unsafe relationship, phone Shine's helpline 0508 744 633 for advice.

>> Donate today to help save lives <<

By Penny Lewis, Journalist

Life may have slowed down in New Zealand, but domestic violence has not. With families confined to their homes under Level 4 restrictions (and now Level 3) in the battle against COVID-19, the fallout from the pandemic is making domestic violence worse.

Tanya, manager of one of Shine’s refuges, says Police have reported an escalation in local family harm incidents, with indications that incidents have tripled in numbers on the North Shore compared with last year.  

During Level 4 lockdown, it was more difficult for women living with family violence to find time away from their abuser to ask for help. Women who have managed to ask for help through Police seem to be more open to asking for help. 

“It’s like they’re trapped. They’re so much more limited with options now because of COVID. Most of the callouts coming now are from families who are already known to the police and to us,” Tanya says.

Donations are crucial for Shine to continue to help these women. Tanya and her team have reprioritised offers of support to tackle increased demand and logistical constraints under Level 4.

“If you want to assist, one of the best things is to donate money – we can utilise money very quickly to support victims who are escaping domestic violence during these very uncertain times.” she explains.

Tanya is grateful for ongoing support from so many people, businesses and organisations, but there is always more needed, especially now. 

“When women come to us, 90% of them have nothing. They’ve got the clothes they’re wearing and they’re hanging on to their kids, so they’re literally walking in with the clothes on their backs. It’s very unusual for them to have any money whatsoever. And they’re exhausted and confused and just physically and psychologically at the bottom. It’s women from every single walk of life.”

Donations of money and other items are crucial. Tanya explains that a woman can’t start the process of getting out of a violent relationship and begin to heal if she’s constantly worried about other things. “She’s got enough on her plate without worrying whether she can scrounge seven bucks to get a box of tampons at the supermarket. We can’t help her do the best thing for herself if she’s constantly worried if she and her children are going to eat, or whether the kids need to go to the doctor.” 

Under normal circumstances, Tanya welcomes all offers of quality donated items from the public, supermarkets, other businesses and organisations such as Rotary. “We’ve got people who donate some amazing stuff to us. I never say no to anything – that’s my golden rule.”

With everyone is in their own bubbles now, Tanya can’t accept these sorts of things just yet, but she’s asking people who can help to hold on. “While COVID-19 is on – can you hold on to what you have until lockdown is over and I promise you I will come and get it.”

She’s caring for the women and their children in refuge and emergency accommodation with daily phone calls, rather than the usual face-to-face time. “Because it’s tough for them,” Tanya says. “Especially if they’ve got babies.”

***

Photo: Tanya picks up a bike for 4-year-old at refuge last Christmas. With special thanks to Woven Earth and Bike Barn. Photo credit: Woven Earth

To support women and children escaping domestic violence during this crisis, please give now.