What is Happening at Shine

Let's end domestic violence, together

Shine's new campaign encourages people to look out for friends, colleagues and family members who may be in a relationship with an intimate partner who controls their movements, finances or ability to go to work. The signs of abuse can be subtle - watch the videos for examples based on real-life situations. If  you believe someone else is or might be in an unsafe relationship, phone Shine's helpline 0508 744 633 for advice.

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By Penny Lewis, Journalist

Life may have slowed down in New Zealand, but domestic violence has not. With families confined to their homes under Level 4 restrictions (and now Level 3) in the battle against COVID-19, the fallout from the pandemic is making domestic violence worse.

Tanya, manager of Shine’s North Shore refuge, says Police have reported an escalation in local family harm incidents, with indications that incidents have tripled in numbers on the North Shore compared with last year.  

During Level 4 lockdown, it was more difficult for women living with family violence to find time away from their abuser to ask for help. Women who have managed to ask for help through Police seem to be more open to asking for help. 

“It’s like they’re trapped. They’re so much more limited with options now because of COVID. Most of the callouts coming now are from families who are already known to the police and to us,” Tanya says.

Donations are crucial for Shine to continue to help these women. Tanya and her team have reprioritised offers of support to tackle increased demand and logistical constraints under Level 4.

“If you want to assist, one of the best things is to donate money – we can utilise money very quickly to support victims who are escaping domestic violence during these very uncertain times.” she explains.

Tanya is grateful for ongoing support from so many people, businesses and organisations, but there is always more needed, especially now. 

“When women come to us, 90% of them have nothing. They’ve got the clothes they’re wearing and they’re hanging on to their kids, so they’re literally walking in with the clothes on their backs. It’s very unusual for them to have any money whatsoever. And they’re exhausted and confused and just physically and psychologically at the bottom. It’s women from every single walk of life.”

Donations of money and other items are crucial. Tanya explains that a woman can’t start the process of getting out of a violent relationship and begin to heal if she’s constantly worried about other things. “She’s got enough on her plate without worrying whether she can scrounge seven bucks to get a box of tampons at the supermarket. We can’t help her do the best thing for herself if she’s constantly worried if she and her children are going to eat, or whether the kids need to go to the doctor.” 

Under normal circumstances, Tanya welcomes all offers of quality donated items from the public, supermarkets, other businesses and organisations such as Rotary. “We’ve got people who donate some amazing stuff to us. I never say no to anything – that’s my golden rule.”

With everyone is in their own bubbles now, Tanya can’t accept these sorts of things just yet, but she’s asking people who can help to hold on. “While COVID-19 is on – can you hold on to what you have until lockdown is over and I promise you I will come and get it.”

She’s caring for the women and their children in refuge and emergency accommodation with daily phone calls, rather than the usual face-to-face time. “Because it’s tough for them,” Tanya says. “Especially if they’ve got babies.”

***

Photo: Tanya picks up a bike for 4-year-old at refuge last Christmas. With special thanks to Woven Earth and Bike Barn. Photo credit: Woven Earth

To support women and children escaping domestic violence during this crisis, please give now.

By Penny Lewis, Journalist

Clearing away make-do office furniture from Shine’s North Shore refuge was one of the first things Tanya did when she came on board as manager two years ago. Tanya was keen to make the house feel more like a home for the women and children who come to the refuge.

“When I first went there, it was lovely, with a massive playground put in by Rotary. It was nice, but it was filled with donated office furniture and wasn’t very homely.” Tanya says it was important to create an environment where clients would be welcomed and supported – a place where they could feel as comfortable as possible.

“The rule was if I didn’t want my kids to sit on it, eat off it or wear it, then it wasn’t going to be there,” she recalls.

“Our part of the house was very office-like and clinical – it could have been an accountant’s firm. I needed the transition because a woman comes here in one of the worst possible moments in her life – and when she walks into that room I don’t want it to be like I’m sitting behind a desk with a clipboard.”

Out went the desk and in came a dining table and chairs, a lounge suite, a big rug and toys for the children. “We also set up a counselling room so that we could facilitate counselling, clinical psychologist appointments and adult safety programmes inside the refuge,” Tanya says. Before that, women had to go elsewhere to access these services and they would often be scared.

Because of the difference Shine and the refuge make in women’s lives, Tanya describes her role as the best job she’s ever had in her whole life. “I wish I’d started it years and years ago.” Her path towards Shine started while working for the police for nearly a decade as a non-sworn member of the communications team. From there, she joined Shine as an advocate in the family harm team.

From these roles Tanya knew the processes and had a good sense of the initial stages of DV. “The wider picture became apparent – what are a family violence victim’s needs? What are her kids’ needs? How were they getting – or not getting – those needs met?”

“Then the job came up within Shine to run their North Shore refuge and I thought instantly this is my platform. You get the opportunity to be face-to-face with people and that is really important. There is nothing like being able to see raw emotion on people’s faces and really be able to understand what they’re going through.” 

Support for Shine’s clients starts before they arrive at the refuge. Whenever possible, Tanya and her team will collect women from wherever they are to keep them safe.

“When they come to us, 90 per cent of them have nothing. They’ve got the clothes they’re wearing and they’re hanging on to their kids, so they’re literally walking in with the clothes on their backs. It’s very unusual for them to have any money whatsoever. And they’re exhausted and confused and just physically and psychologically at the. They’re women from every single walk of life. The most important thing is that we get them to the refuge and we get her and her kids safe. That’s number one and we deal with everything after that.”

Seeking donations of money and goods is a huge part of Tanya’s job, helping women with the everyday things we often take for granted. Speaking of a typical client, Tanya says “she’s got enough on her plate without worrying whether she can scrounge seven bucks to get a box of tampons at the supermarket. We can’t help her do the best thing for herself if she’s constantly worried if she and her children are going to eat, or whether the kids need to go to the doctor. She can’t start to heal and she can’t start the process of getting out of a really violent relationship if she’s constantly worried about the 50 other things she has to take of”.

Tanya and her team help each client with “whatever it takes to get her to a space where she can make a really informed decision about the choices she’s going to make for the rest of her life. When they get time to heal and time to work on themselves, then they make good choices. It’s not hard work – we just have to give them the opportunity to do it.”

“We’re not there to tell her what to do; we’re there to support her in the choices she makes, regardless of what they are. Sometimes they’re not ones that we like so we have to support her and put safety around her in the decisions that she’s making.”

Shine welcomes women and their children at the refuge for as long as they need to be there. “Some women who have come out of the refuge require a lot more time than four weeks in there, but they have actually succeeded. They have new private accommodation, full-time work, they’re back in the community and they’re looking after themselves. They understand the impact of DV really well and they know it’s not something they can go back to.”

The refuge receives support from individuals, organisations and businesses and more is always welcome. “I never say no to anything – that’s my golden rule. We’ve got people who donate some amazing stuff to us.”

A large storage company provides space for Tanya to store donated household items. “When my ladies leave and they get a new place, we put what we’ve got into her new house. That might be a washing machine and a fridge. Because when they go into a new place it’s great for Work & Income to say ‘yep, we’re going to help you out’, but once they’ve kitted her out she owes them a lot of money. She might be DV-free but now she’s drowning in debt. If there is one thing that makes women not able to cope, it’s money. Quite often they will go back because it’s too hard financially to be on their own and they will put up with the DV because of it.” 

The generosity of people, organisations and businesses that support Shine with money and goods is crucial and makes such a difference to women’s lives.

Shine’s support for its clients doesn’t stop when women leave the refuge and are living in the community again. Tanya and her team are still there for them. “Absolutely,” says Tanya. “They don’t get rid of me that easily.”

***

Photo: Tanya picks up a bike for 4-year-old at refuge last Christmas. With special thanks to Woven Earth and Bike Barn. Photo credit: Woven Earth
To support women and children escaping domestic violence, please give now.

Kua hinga te totara i te wao nui a Tane. The totara has fallen in the forest of Tane.

It has come as a shock to the Shine whanau that our beloved Mary McGee passed away yesterday morning. We are bereft at this loss and our hearts and love goes out to Mary’s husband Greg and her children and grandchildren at this time. 

Mary retired from her role as Senior Advocate at Shine in 2017. Since then, she has been enjoying life with her husband, children and grandchildren, after many years of working at the coalface.

Mary first worked for Shine in 1998, and left and came back to work at Shine several times over the next two decades. Everyone who worked with Mary will agree that she was utterly passionate about supporting victims of domestic violence and about the need to improve the systems that are barriers to safety for these people.

As a Shine Advocate, Mary supported thousands of women and children who experienced domestic violence, helping them to better understand their situation and their risk of physical harm, providing emotional support and advocating on their behalf with police, courts, Oranga Tamariki and other organisations, to help them become safe and live free from fear and violence.

As quoted in a 2016 Stuff article, Mary said about her role as a Shine Advocate, “..each situation requires a unique approach but the end goal is always the same: to work out a way to provide safety and security for those who would otherwise be trapped in a cycle of abuse.”

When she retired from working as an Advocate in 2017, Mary said, “I feel privileged to have had so many people share the intimate details of their lives with me. To do this work has been an absolute honour.”

Those of us who knew Mary at Shine consider it our honour to have known and worked with her during those years.

To Mary’s husband Greg and her children and grandchildren and wider whanau - please know that even though we are not able to gather with you in person right now, we are all remembering Mary in our own ways, and sending you our thoughts and love.

Here are some ways to help you remember Mary, or help you appreciate Mary’s work if you weren’t blessed to have known her personally: 

• Read our news story about Mary, written when she retired in Shine in 2017.
• Listen to the Venus Envy (The Spinoff) podcast interview with Mary in 2018: scroll down to "WEEK ONE: Jacinda Ardern and Mary McGee - leadership, feminism, domestic violence, toxic masculinity" OR read a transcript of this podcast interview with Mary.

UPDATED FOR ALERT LEVEL 2: Shine, and all NZ domestic violence and sexual violence crisis response services, are  operating at Alert Level 2. This means:

You can ring our Helpline for domestic violence information and support for yourself, or advice about helping someone you know, at 0508-744-633. This number is answered 7 days a week, 9am to 11pm. If it is busy, please ring back. Click here to find out more about how we can help you.

NOTE: If there is an emergency, and someone is being hurt or threatened, ring Police on 111. If it's not safe to speak, push 55 on a mobile (or push any number on a landline phone) to be put through to Police.

If you are in Auckland and unsafe at home and you need help immediately, you can come to Shine’s office in Kingsland, Monday to Friday from 9am to 3pm (except stat holidays).  Please note, in the event we go back up to Level 4: If you are questioned by Police about why you are not at home, you can explain that you are going to Shine for help with personal safety issues. This is allowed for under government rules about lockdown, because safety is an essential need, and Shine is providing an essential service.

Refuge/safe house accommodation for women and children escaping domestic violence is still available throughout the country. Ring our Helpline or drop-in to the Shine office (see open times above) for more information.

Other Shine services: Our No Excuses men’s non-violence programme is now being delivered in person at our Shine office. Our Advocacy Services are also being delivered face to face. Our frontline and office staff are using physical distancing, contact tracing, PPE where appropriate, and we are also following the Government's hygiene and cleaning guidelines.  If you have questions about how to access our services, please ring the Helpline.

Go here to read about help and support throughout NZ for family violence on the Government COVID-19 website.

Go here to read more about how to help someone you know.

• It's Not OK info line: 0800 456 450 - 9am to 11pm every day
• Women's Refuge crisis line: 0800 733 843 - 24/7
• Hey Bro helpline: 0800 Hey Bro (439 276) for men who feel they’re going to harm a loved one or whanau member - 24/7

The coronavirus pandemic may see a rise in domestic violence incidents, according to Police and family violence specialists. Home is not a safe place for everyone, especially for domestic violence victims who may have to work from home or self-isolate at home with a partner who is abusive.

Shine's Holly Carrington told Stuff news that 'as people became isolated from family, friends and support networks, they would be more at risk of abuse. She urged people to be proactive in keeping in contact with family, friends and neighbours, even if they couldn't see them face to face.'

As reported in The Spinoff, 'People experiencing domestic violence in the lockdown period can be assured that crisis services will be available. Both Women’s Refuge and Shine have joined a working group to put in place extra support, which may include motel accommodation and increased remote services.' 

In the New Zealand Herald Holly said not only do we need to look out for each other but also take care about how we check on a person's safety, as it was 'likely abusive partners would be listening in on phone calls and monitoring text messages or emails during the lockdown.'

You can read the full article on Stuff: Coronavirus: Police plan for spike in family violence

And the full article on The Spinoff: Where do domestic violence victims go during the COVID-19 lockdown?

You can read the full article in the New Zealand Herald online: Covid 19 coronavirus: Family violence tipped to rise, but help services are there 24/7 during lockdown

If you're concerned about having to work from home or self-isolate at home with an abusive partner please call the Shine helpline 0508744633 to discuss how to stay safe. It's free from any phone in NZ. Open daily 9am-11pm.

Other helpline options are Women's Refuge at 0800 733 843,  

and Are You OK Infoline at 0800 456 450.  

In being awarded the DVFREE Tick ASB demonstrates its commitment to a domestic violence-free workplace where staff can feel safe and supported.

Anna Campbell, ASB acting Executive General Manager People says she is proud of the work the company has done to reach this milestone.

“We’re in the privileged position of being an organisation that can affect and influence change in our communities for the better. Working with Shine and achieving this DVFREE Tick is something which we hope will have an impact beyond our organisation and will encourage other companies to join as well. Our people are our priority, and ensuring we have a workplace that supports anyone who is affected by domestic violence is incredibly important to us,” says Campbell.

“To date, more than 200 of our People Leaders have been trained to support people affected by domestic violence in the workplace, which is fantastic. The team will now continue to train managers over the next 18 months, with the plan to have the majority of our people trained by June 2021,” says Campbell.

In order to achieve the DVFREE Tick, an employer must meet the DVFREE Tick criteria in the content of policy, procedures, information and awareness raising for all staff, and training managers and ‘First Responders.’ ‘First Responders’ are key staff trained to support staff who experience domestic violence, including creating workplace safety plans for affected staff.

Shine’s DVFREE and Policy Advisor Holly Carrington says, “As a collective force, employers can play a massive role in addressing New Zealand’s epidemic of domestic violence.” 

“The team at ASB Bank has been very focused on creating an effective staff domestic violence programme. I am thrilled to congratulate ASB for being awarded the DVFREE Tick in recognition of the steps they have taken,” says Carrington.

Shine’s free guidelines for employers and information about DVFREE services and the DVFREE Tick are available at www.dvfree.org.nz, and can help employers take a best-practice approach, while also meeting new legal obligations under the Domestic Violence Victims Protection Act 2018 that went into force 1st April this year. 

Employers awarded the DVFREE Tick are listed here, with more working towards the DVFREE Tick. Hundreds of employers have engaged with DVFREE training and policy consultation services, and well over one thousand have downloaded the DVFREE Guidelines for Policy and Procedures since January this year. 

PHOTO: ASB Wellbeing Manager Jane Boyd, Executive General Manager People Anna Campbell, Policy and Projects Advisor Hannah Kelly and Shine DVFREE Coordinator Margaret Fitzgibbon

Shine’s General Manager Jane Drumm is semi-retiring and stepping back from her GM role on 6 December. After a well-earned break over Christmas and into the New Year, Jane will continue to work with Shine on a flexible basis doing specific projects and advisory work.

In 22 years under Jane’s leadership, Shine grew from four staff and a budget of $180,000 to a national organisation with more than thirty staff and a budget of more than $3 million. Jane undertook two major overseas study trips to look at what is working to stop domestic abuse in the United Kingdom, which was under a Winston Churchill Fellowship, and in North America. Using what she learned overseas, Jane initiated a number of Shine’s innovative and unique services. In 2018, Jane was appointed a Companion of the Queen's Service Order for services to victims of domestic violence.

Here are a few things that her colleagues have to say about her:

“I love working with Jane Drumm, who is a most extraordinary, creative, intelligent, kind, crazy, hilarious person. She has had a profound influence on the domestic violence field in New Zealand by reading widely, thinking deeply, applying her knowledge, developing ideas, and being determined to help people to live safer lives.” 

- Jill Proudfoot

“To me, Jane is a ‘visionary’. She is a person with original ideas about what the future will or could be like. Even more important to me is that she has a big heart and really deeply cares about people at Shine and people we support in the community. On a personal level, over the nearly 20 years that I’ve worked with Jane at Shine, she has always been there for me when I needed her support and aroha.” 

- Holly Carrington

Shine’s more than 50 staff and volunteers will carry this critical work forward. Sally Ward, Senior Manager Education and Training, will be stepping up as the Interim General Manager of Shine.

Shine a light on domestic violence during Shine’s Light it Orange week in March.

You can help victims of domestic violence get safe and stay safe by signing up to Light it Orange

Create your own Light it Orange event to help raise funds. With your help, we can reach more victims with the support and resources they so desperately need. 

Many domestic violence victims Shine works with are in imminent danger of being seriously injured or killed. Shine advocates help get them and their children safe. 

Every $250 you raise can cover the cost of an advocate’s urgent callout to a family after an arrest. Funds raised in the regions will ensure more people learn about our vital free and confidential helpline so that they can get the help they need.

This year, you can find even more great resources to support your fundraising events, including digital infographics and content to share. Your Light it Orange fundraiser can be as simple as an orange-themed morning tea at your workplace, church or home or an orange mufti day at school for a gold coin donation. You can run a bingo or quiz night. For more fun and simple ways to fundraise, get inspired by these Light it Orange fundraising ideas. 

You can also join ‘Team Shine’ for Ports of Auckland Round the Bays 2020 on 8th March, which marks the start of Light it Orange week. If you are outside of Auckland, you can still join Team Shine by finding a local event you can get involved with.

Shine works with:

• victims and their children to get them safe and keep them safe
• people who use abuse to support changing their behaviour
• frontline professionals such as police and nursing staff to help them identify and support victims
• businesses who want to offer effective support to staff experiencing domestic abuse 
• secondary school children who want to understand the difference between healthy relationships and domestic abuse

You can support Shine's work and have fun with your colleagues, friends and family to help create safer homes in New Zealand and  sign up to fundraise.

 Shine was delighted to host Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cornwall and representatives from organisations working to end domestic violence and support victims last Tuesday. 

The Duchess of Cornwall is committed to highlighting the issue of domestic violence and lending her support to the work of domestic violence agencies, like Shine. The Duchess hoped her visit would shine a light in the media on domestic violence.

“It’s so important for voices to be heard. When I sat down and listened to some of these tales they were just shocking, shocking. Hopefully today we can up the ante.”

Representatives from the NZ Police and Te Roopu O Te Whanau Rangimarie O Tamaki Makaurau were present, as were Westpac and the Ministry of Justice, early adopters of Shine’s DVREE workplace training to support people experiencing domestic violence.

In a private meeting with the representatives at Shine, The Duchess heard about topics specific to New Zealand including recent changes to legislation, such as the new offence of strangulation and the increased workplace obligations, and culturally responsive services for Maori in responding to domestic violence.

Shine GM Jane Drumm spoke to Radio New Zealand prior to The Duchess of Cornwall's visit. Jane said The Duchess of Cornwall's visit represents a huge shift in attitudes towards family violence.

"[Twenty years ago] when I first started family violence was a secret, it was hidden. No one wanted to talk about it. And now we have got a member of the Royal Family, who is not only interested in the UK but actually has made a point of visiting two separate family violence organisations in New Zealand. And is wanting to talk about it and raise awareness as a member of the Royal Family but also as a woman. And I could not have imagined that twenty years ago or even ten years ago."

You can listen to the Radio New Zealand interview here.

A selection of other online media coverage of the Royal Visit:

Watch a video of the visit on The Herald Online.

Watch TVNZ 1News (Shine visit starts at 1:29)

Read nowtolove.co.nz article