The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

A child’s intellectual, emotional and psychological ability is shaped by what it sees, hears and how they make sense of it.  Experiencing and witnessing abuse prevents children from reaching their potential as adults.

• Children and babies are often invisible to adults in violent situations, and to the adults who come to help.  Every year, thousands of NZ children are seriously traumatised by family violence.
• Children who are frightened and traumatised suffer from health, development, and emotional problems. 
• Children’s brain development is affected greatly by trauma.  Chronic anxiety creates chemicals in their brains which interrupt learning abilities.
• Boys who witness their mother being beaten frequently go on to abuse their women partners; some girls assume that male violence is a normal part of a relationship.
• Children of battered women are fifteen times more likely to be abused as children than other children.
• The primary cause of youth delinquency is witnessing domestic violence as a child.

Some experts say that children will move into one of four coping styles.  These are easily recognised:

1. Living in secret, withdrawing into a fantasy world, apparently unaware of what’s going on around them.  Maybe overly compliant, quiet, or high achieving at school.
2. Conflict of loyalties – feel they have to choose which parent to support or they can only love one parent.
3. Living in terror and fear with no stability or certainty – chronic long-term anxiety, depression, bed-wetting, regressing to younger behaviour.
4. Aggressive and bullying, behaviour problems and failure at school, sometimes diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).

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