Safety Planning
This Safety Plan has three parts: 1. Avoid serious injury and escape violence 2. Preparation for separation 3. Long-term safety after separation
Part 1: Avoid serious injury and escape violence
- During an incident of violence at home you will want to do everything you can to avoid serious injury. Think ahead and plan.
- Leave if you can. Know the easiest escape routes - doors, windows, etc. What's in the way? Are there obstacles to a speedy exit?
- Know where you're running to. Have a safe place arranged. You may want to organise this with a neighbour in advance of trouble. You may want to leave a spare set of clothes for you and your children with a neighbour.
- Always keep your purse, cash cards, keys, essential medications and important papers together in a place where you can get them quickly or have someone else fetch them.
- If you can't leave the house, try to move to a place of low risk. Try to keep out of the bathroom, kitchen, garage, away from weapons, upstairs or rooms without access to outside.
- Talk to your children about getting help. Think of a code word you could say to your children or friends so they can call for help. Depending on age and ability they could:
1. Run to a neighbour and ask them to call the police 2. Call 111. Teach them the words to use to get help. ("This is Jimmy, 99 East Street. Mum's getting hurt. She needs help now.") 3. Hide in a safe place outside the house. Arrange this in advance.
- Use judgement and intuition - when the situation is very serious you may have to do what the attacker wants until things calm down. Then be on the alert for your chance to escape and get help.
- Try to leave quietly. Don't give your attacker clues about the direction you've taken or where you've gone to. Lock doors behind you if you can - it will slow down any attempt to follow you.
- Have refuge or safe house numbers memorised or easy to find.
if you have to leave to save your life - leave fast, take nothing, go to the nearest safe place and call 111 for help
Part 2: Preparation for separation
- Arrange transport in advance. Know where you'll go. Advise the refuge or safe house.
- Tell only one or two trusted friends or a refuge worker about your plans. Go through the details together.
- Start a savings account. A small amount of money saved weekly can build up and be useful later.
- Gather documents. Start collecting the papers and information you need.
- Make your own list of things to take (birth certificates, marriage certificate, copies of Protection Orders, custody papers, passports, any identification papers, driver's licence, insurance policies, Work and Income documents, IRD number, bank account details and statements, cheque book, cash cards, immigration documentation, adoption papers, medical and legal records, etc).
- Ask your family doctor to carefully note any evidence of injuries on your patient records.
- Take with you:
1. Documents for yourself and your children 2. Keys to house, garage, car, office 3. Clothing and other personal needs 4. Phone card and list of important addresses and phone numbers 5. For children, take essential school needs, favourite toy or comforter 6. Photograph of your partner so that people protecting you know what he looks like
- Leave copies of documents, spare clothing and toiletries for yourself and children, some cash, spare keys, medication and other essential items with a trusted friend in case of sudden flight.
- Try not to react to your partner in a way which might make him suspicious about your plans. Always be aware of your need for safety.
- Tell children what they need to know only when they need to know it. Wait until plans are well advanced before talking to them. They don't need the stress of keeping a difficult secret.
Part 3: Long-term safety after separation
- Teach your children what to do if your ex-partner makes contact with them unexpectedly or breaches access arrangements, i.e. rules about checking first before opening the door, coming inside or going to neighbours if he comes to the house, telling a teacher if they are approached at school.
- Obtain a Protection Order from your local District Court. Make four copies - one for your handbag, one to keep at home, and one at work. Make sure your local police station has a copy. If you move, remember to give a copy to your new local Police Station.
- Teach your children what to do if your ex-partner takes them, e.g. calling the Police on 111.
- Tell other adults who take care of your children which people have permission to pick them up and who is not permitted to do so (e.g. school teacher, day-care staff, baby sitter).
- Consider installing an outside lighting system, that lights up when a person comes near your house at night.
- Tell neighbours that your partner does not live with you and ask them to call the police if he is seen near your house.
- Ask your neighbours to contact the police if they hear signs of an assault occurring.
- Tell your employer that you have a Protection Order, or that you are afraid of your ex-partner.
- Ask for your telephone calls at work to be screened.
- If your ex-partner breaches the Protection Order, telephone the Police and report it, contact your lawyer and your advocate.
- If the Police do not help, contact your advocate or lawyer for assistance to make a complaint.
- Ask Telecom to install "Caller ID" on your telephone and ask for an unlisted number. WARNING: make sure that emergency services (Police / Fire / Ambulance) are allowed access to your telephone number.
- Contact the Electoral Enrolment Centre on 0800 36 76 56 and ask for your name and address to be excluded from the published electoral roll.
- Attend a woman's education programme to help you grow strong and understand what has happened to you.
- If possible, use different shops and banks to those you used when you lived with your ex-partner.
- Keep a record of any breaches of a Protection Order, noting the time, date and what occurred and what action you took.
- Think about how to deal with potential abuse, feelings of fear and safety issues when you have to communicate with your ex-partner by telephone, or in person.
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Did you know?
Half of all murders in New Zealand are family violence.
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