Help for victims

In this country, as in other parts of the world, victims of domestic violence are predominately women and children, but some men also experience abuse from their female partners.

At Shine we provide support to all victims of domestic violence.

Can this be happening to me?

It can be difficult sometimes to let yourself believe you are being abused because:
• the person hurting you doesn't always act this way - sometimes they may be loving and kind.
• you love or depend on the person who abuses you and you are scared of what life will be like without them.

But if you often feel afraid, or live in fear of your partner, and you change what you do to make sure they don't get angry with you, this is a sign that you are being abused.

Many women who are experiencing domestic violence feel as though they are doing something to deserve the abuse. This is never true. Nobody deserves to be called names, insulted, humiliated, kept away from family and friends, controlled, hurt or frighten.

• The abusive person is 100% responsible for their behaviour.
• Violence and abuse is a choice the abusive person makes.
• Abusive partners often have a pattern of behavior which gets worse over time.

You are not alone, you are not to blame, help is available

Call us to talk  0508 744 633.

We can provide emotional support, practical advice and inform you of support services, safe accommodation, services for children and other issues.

We can also help you plan for you and your children’s safety. 

Here are some practical tools that can help you or a friend.

• Auditing your Relationship
• Safety Plan
• Protection Orders
• Cathy's Story

Domestic violence in Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender communities

Many types of relationships are often marginalized by society making it even harder to ‘come out’ about the abuse being experienced.

Many of the types of violence experienced in heterosexual relationships can also happen in GLBT relationships, but there are other features that are unique, such as:

• threatening to out you to family or employers

• refusing to use your preferred pronoun

• hiding your hormones or anti retro viral drugs

• saying that abuse is a heterosexual problem, so what is happening in your relationship couldn’t possibly be abuse.

You may worry that others will not take the abuse seriously, particularly if you are in a same sex relationship and your partner is smaller than you. You may feel unsure whether what you are experiencing is abuse.

You are not alone, you are not to blame, help is available

Call us to talk   0508 744 633

Useful resources

LGBT power and control wheel

Rainbow youth/healthy relationships