Help for Children
Domestic abuse affects children too. Children have a right to be safe
There is a direct relationship between domestic abuse and child abuse. Most mothers who are being abused try very hard to protect their children from being exposed to violence, but a child is affected if they hear or see abusive behaviour, and even if they are around the aftereffects of the violence, e.g. a mother who is injured, depressed, nervous, distracted, etc.. It’s important to remember that children are very sensitive. They pick up on what’s happening and become frightened and confused.
Even children pretending to be asleep can describe in detail what they have heard.
“The bad noises come when I’m asleep.”
– Luca
There are specialist services available in the community to work with children who have experienced domestic abuse in some way. They generally also provide understanding and support for the mothers.
We believe it is extremely important to offer children the specialist help available to them when they have been exposed to domestic abuse.
These groups and programmes can be contacted through Shine’s free Helpline at 0508-744-633.
If you have a Protection Order in place, the Family Court can refer you to a local domestic violence children’s programme, and they will pay for the programme.
Shine runs a free service called KIDshine in Auckland for children who have been affected by domestic abuse.
> Read more about KIDshine.
In most cases of domestic abuse, mothers who are being abused are trying to do the best they can to parent their children and keep them safe. Children are almost always best off staying with their mother in these situations, as children can be very traumatised being taken away from their primary caregiver – this trauma can often outweigh any increase in safety that would come about by leaving their mother.
However, there are some cases where a mother may either be abusing her own children or she may not be making decisions that prioritise the safety of her children. If you are a concerned friend, neighbour, or family member observing this kind of a situation, you may want to ring Shine’s free Helpline at 0508-744-633 to discuss your concerns.
You can also ring Child Youth and Family to discuss your concerns, and you can remain anonymous if you wish. At some point you may want to report the situation to Child Youth and Family so that they can intervene.
> Visit the Child, Youth and Family website.